MY FIRST LETTER

My dear,

It was like yesterday I got to know that I was pregnant! Today, as I am nearing my due date, it feels like I have been pregnant forever, as I can’t wait any more to hold you in my arms and carry you in my heart for the rest our lives.

Till now, you have been at your best. I have not had any complaints or complications regarding my pregnancy except few acceptable symptoms which I don’t want to crib about. As days pass by, I get freaked out even with a small change in my system wondering if it’s something that is normal during the last stage of pregnancy or if it is something to be worried or concerned about! Each and every small thing concerns me these days. I wish I were a super-woman who could take control over everything that involves you.

After my marriage, the next great thing that happened in my life is YOU! We have been waiting for you for the past 2 years. Thus, the last 39 weeks has been the best period ever in my life; a period which is just the beginning of a lifelong journey! No sleepless nights or cramps or muscle pull can influence my anxiety or eagerness in looking forward to the D ‘day. Come what may! There can be no pain that can survive the pleasure of your kicks. I desperately wanted you before you were conceived. I have started loving you already even before you are born. Now, am ready to die an hour before you are here! No words can explain/express my feelings for you. And I don’t want to be successful in expressing it as I will spend the rest of my time in thinking and will stop feeling. I want to cherish each and every moment of you within me and with me.

Let the Almighty shower His blessings on you. There is nothing more I have to ask. Come soon!

Love,

Mom.

THE GOLDEN PERIOD

Why now, and not since the beginning? Ever since I wanted to write this blog I repeatedly ask the same question, why now, and not since day one?

I know that I am not a great writer. I write blogs just to share my emotions, feelings and memories. This blog is again a reflection of my feelings – the best feeling ever.

I have always felt that I am the most blessed being on earth. Having a great life before wedding is not a big surprise, as girls are the Princesses of a family. Having a beautiful “Happily Ever After” life is too rare. Only few will have the opportunity of tasting the heavenly fruit of both. I am one amongst the few.  My ‘Happily Ever After’ life is because of my wonderful husband who is now my everything and takes care of my everything.

Ever since my childhood I have hated being responsible. I have always been the youngest in the family circle (pre and post marriage). I have always been their pet - protected and pampered. Like anyone else or, may be more than anyone else, I hate to accept the fact that I am growing old, and  felt strange when I was called aunty from sister (didi or akka) by the kids around me.

It took me a while to accept the fact that I am in my mid-20’s and I need to be like one. While I was busy with this process, when I was mentally getting ready to be a responsible matured wife, I got a pleasant shock a.k.a ‘a surprise’.  

As mentioned earlier, I've always been the one to receive and never the one to give. From now on, I must start SACRIFICing my sleep, hunger, appetite, rest, travel and most of all - my profile pics, lol.

It all starts from DAY 1.

It took me a while to accept the mere fact that I was pregnant. Even after my home test, blood test and ultra sound, I always felt that I was looking at someone else’s result/baby. 

My Ist trimester went busy with morning sickness (not for long), dry throat, tiredness, light headedness, mood swings, etc. I felt like doing nothing and was doing nothing. Rather, I must say, it was a testing period for my husband. 

In my second trimester, it is now that I feel my baby. I can feel the movements, jumps and hiccups. I feel like my baby is talking to me – “Mamma, I feel hungry, it’s time for you to eat; Mamma I feel thirsty and you must drink;  Mamma you are straining yourself and I'm feeling uneasy; mamma, mamma and mamma…” Oh God!!! It’s the placental connection that’s doing these magic. I am now an obedient SERVANT abiding my baby’s commands. 

I must say, as my tummy grows my bonding with my mom grows more and more. The one thing that always comes to mind is her thunder quote… “When you become a mother, you will know”. I now know it mom. I am sure, that, I can be more responsible, submissive, polite, humble, sacrificing, can be a good servant, a doctor, a friend, a philosopher, a guide and whatever my baby needs from me, just the same way you were there for me.

Imagine a person without the energy to run a mile getting the ability to run a marathon. After shying away from responsibilities, I now feel like a new person. What I tried for 20+ years without success has been achieved within the last “3 months” – The Golden period. I cherish our baby as a Gift from God and a symbol of our love. 

Come soon…. “Can’t wait to kiss those tiny little feet.”